Confessions of a Control Freak

I came crashing through 2015, successfully navigating a year of craziness and tumult.  2016 dawned and I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the mayhem was over and now things might settle down a bit.  I made a plan.  I would simplify.  Slow down.  Focus on what I love.  Maybe even nap once in awhile.

Want to know how to make God laugh?  Tell Her your plans.

Sure enough, the universe had other plans.  Within a week of the new year my life began to move in fast forward.  A new job, more clients,  new partnership opportunities, added volunteer commitments and on and on…. the big wheel keeps on spinning, faster and faster.  It is exhilarating, but when the heck do I get to nap?

And then the other shoe dropped.  My American Husband got laid off.  His job, linked just a bit too closely to the oil industry, is on temporary hiatus.  Or it may be permanent.  We won’t know for a few months.

After regaining our breath from this particular  sucker punch, the voice of reason kicked in.  We talked about what a great opportunity this may turn out to be.  This could be the perfect time to recreate our lives!  We could start a business… write a screenplay… maybe sell everything and become RV nomads, wandering the continental North America in search of adventure, or whatever comes our way.

Or maybe the Great Divine has something else in mind.  The lesson buried in this is one I have been facing over and over in the past several years.  And for a control freak like me, it is a challenging one.

I need to learn to trust.

That’s right.  I need to let go and just trust that something better is on its way.  My ego loves to step in and start organizing, managing options, making lists and flow charts, and basically giving the Universe my versions of how things should turn out.  We’ve come upon a blind corner on our life’s journey and I really want to figure out what is around the bend.

But I need to let all of that go.  I need to trust.

Oh shut up, voice-of-reason!  What do you know?

Just let it go.  Let it go….. (you can’t see me right now, but I am humming and swaying, hands in zen meditation mudras)

So I will do my best to let go and trust that things are breaking apart now so that they can come back together bigger, stronger, better than before.  I will trust that we are being guided to the next big thing.  Life is a constant flow of change and growth, and even though I can’t see around the corner, I know that this time of uncertainty holds treasures that I am already grateful for.

Because I can trust.

No you can’t.

Shh.  Yes I can.

This is me.  Letting go.

My Message from Wayne

I haven’t shared this recording with many people until now.  It happened a few years ago and I know a lot of you have read about this experience.  I felt compelled to share this message that I saved… this is the first time I heard from Dr. Wayne Dyer.

It holds such a special place in my memory, and I hope it brings some joy for all of you to hear his voice again.  <3

Wayne

Lessons from the Mountains

Just up the road a bit
Just up the road a bit

I’ve never met a mountain I didn’t love.  Here are a few things living in the mountains has taught me:

  1. The steeper the climb, the better the view.
  2. There are many paths, each equal in its ability to take you to the top.
  3. What you send out will echo back to you.
  4. Looking down on someone else is only useful if you are reaching to help them up.
  5. The view from the top puts a lot of things in perspective.
  6. The climb is always worth it.
  7. They will forever remind you to follow every rainbow, til you find your dream.

Here are a few of my mountains:

fisher Steeples