Crazy is the New Normal

There was a time, not long ago, when most of my life was a lie.  I cloaked myself in corporate clothes, all buttoned up and acceptable.  I spoke only of tangible, earth bound matters and if anything came up that was slightly “out there”, I would comment with just the appropriate amount of disdain in my voice.

I had perfected my persona.  I was “Normal”.

Little did the people in my world know that I had a big secret.  I was nowhere near “Normal”.  In fact, I was crazy as a spoon, living in a closet of my own making, afraid to share my true self for fear of judgment.

Beneath my mild mannered exterior raged an awakening being.  Weird stuff was happening on a regular basis and while I found it all to be intriguing and life changing, I was afraid to tell anyone else about it.  What would they think if I just blurted stuff out?

“Hi, I’m Brenda.  I see dead people.”  Or “Hello, nice to meet you.  Did you know you have 3 Angels hovering around you and one is trying to unfold your wings?”  Or how about: “You were a Egyptian slave in a past life and are still working on releasing yourself from those blocks.”  No biggie.  I’ll just share my visions then pack a bag for my trip to the loony bin.

For a few years I kept most of the weird stuff to myself, quietly learning and growing with just a few people in the loop.  My American Husband, my best friend and my daughter to be specific.  I trusted them to love me, no matter what.  And of course, they did.

I took classes, learned to develop my skills.  I flew to New York to spend a week learning about Past Life Regression with Dr. Brian Weiss and told everyone I was going on a Yoga Retreat.  Liar Liar Pants On Fire.  That was me.

I finally began to share because I felt compelled to be myself.  But, true confessions:  the first few times sneaking out of the closet, I published and shared under another name.  Funny thing is that I got such a warm, heartfelt response, I actually got jealous of fake me and decided to let real me take over.

I published my first blog a few years back.  It was an account of my first past life experience.  I remember hitting the Publish button, then having a panic attack.  My American Husband talked me down, convincing me not to delete the whole thing, and from that moment on I began to inch my way out of the Spiritual Closet.

Now that I am out, I take huge delight in helping others to own their own brand of “crazy”.  With classes, workshops, blogs and facebook, we are finding each other, and as the community grows, we are becoming braver, sharing our visions and gifts.  Now it is rare to come upon anyone who doesn’t share something magical… some experience or belief… within the first few minutes of talking.  It’s as if by being authentic and letting it all hang out, others are given permission to do the same.

Crazy is the new normal.

Who would have guessed it?  And life is so much more fun since leaving the confines of the closet.  I highly recommend it.  Freeing myself to be who I am, authentically, and trusting that sharing my truth will open more doors than it closes, has changed my life on every level.  New friends, new experiences, a vaster understanding of the magic of life, plus never having to wear uncomfortable shoes… it’s all magnificent.

So bare your soles, and your souls.  Kick off the cloak of who you think you should be and become who you are.  We are all just waiting to welcome you to the fold.

 

Ah! I See You Have the Machine that goes ‘ping’.

There is a certain sense, somewhere between terror and exhilaration, that assails me each time I drive up to my brother’s cabin in Montana.  The cabin is nestled on rolling hills overlooking a lake, with an absolutely stunning view of Chief Mountain.  Arguably the nicest view in my world and certainly in my top 3 ‘happy places’.

So why the terror?  The exhilaration?  Quite simply because there is no cell service or wifi at the cabin.  None.  Nada.  The devices we bring with us, connecting us to our network of social goings on, become nothing more than clunky timepieces for the time we are there.

It’s exhilarating!  And it’s terrifying.  And I love it all the more because of that.

What started out as a convenience, being able to keep in contact with my family, has become somewhat of an addiction.  I carry my phone with me everywhere.  Any simple or silly question I have is instantly answered as I open google and thumb type my search.  My social network rarely goes more than a few hours without me jumping in to catch up.  And what is called a ‘phone’ is very rarely used as such.

It isn’t until I am in a place where the device I have grown addicted to is useless that I understand the depth of that dependency.  And I realize, during those blissful weekends at the cabin that the stress of being in constant contact is an underlying anxiety that has become a normal part of my day to day life.

A few days ago I talked about getting back on track, and the 3 C’s that will help me with that.  One of those 3 C’s was Cut the Crap.  The device that has become glued to my hand, drawing my attention away from everything (and everyone) else, has got to go.  Don’t get me wrong… I won’t be chucking it into the river like some scene in a movie, walking away with inspiring music playing in the background as I victoriously raise my fists in the air.  No.  I need to keep the phone, if only to maintain communication with my teenager.  She speaks fluent text, and I don’t want to miss out on that.

But… I will be shutting it off.  A lot.  I realized recently that during the winter months, when the cabin is not accessible, I really miss those technology vacations.  It isn’t so much that the view at Duck Lake is spectacular (which it is).  It is that I am actually looking up and seeing something other than the dancing pixels on my iThing.  I wonder what wonders await if I try looking up in my day to day life.

Please believe me when I tell you in the next few months that I am not ignoring you, my phone is.  The important things in life are not ‘things’.  And my device is a ‘thing’ I intend to close the drawer on as often as possible.

The prospect is terrifying.

…..And exhilarating…

 

The Three C’s

One year ago yesterday I gave up. It was my birthday and I’d had it. Like pigpen’s ever expanding shroud of dust, I had so many bad habits trailing me through the years that I was ready to let go of all of it. And so I gave up. I gave up the stinking thinking that had kept me stuck. And I gave up the beliefs that I couldn’t re-create my life in such a way that would make me happy, fulfilled and living within my soul’s true purpose.

One year has passed and yesterday I took some time to contemplate where I am now, compared to where I was then. This time last year I was working at a job I truly disliked. I felt stuck and frustrated. Those feelings shaded all other parts of my existence so that I felt like life was dull and unexciting. I hadn’t shared much of my spiritual stuff with anyone, and knew that I was being asked to do more. But what? I was flummoxed. Confused. Frustrated.

So I gave up. And life has never been better.

One year later: I have left that job behind and began a soul based business offering services that felt in tune with my beliefs and gifts. My friend Erin and I started teaching soul classes on Tuesday nights at the coolest little Indie book store in the western world.  I jumped back into theatre, my first true passion, taking the leap into the Director’s chair and fulfilling a secret dream I’ve held since I was a tiny thespian. I stepped outside of my comfort zone and began reaching out to people, tentatively offering companionship, and now have a growing circle of beautiful souls I am honored to call friends.

Yes things are looking up. I am so happy with what has changed in the past year. The shadows of a half lived life are replaced by the full, technicolor glory of Living with a capital L.

And yet….

There is more to do. Like all organisms on this Earth school, even after times of huge growth and expansion, it is never okay to sit back and say: “Okay. I’m done. Now what’s on Netflix?” Resting is fine. Catching our breath is good. But wallowing, even in the successful stuff is never going to be okay. We are on a path of discovery. If we stop moving forward, we will stop discovering stuff.

Therefore, I am setting more intentions for myself for the coming year. I have 365 days until the next cake day, and I intend to LIVE LIFE. And here’s how… my three C’s for the coming year:

  1. Create.  Like the Universal All  -that-isness that created us, we are at our cores, creators. When we allow ourselves the freedom to be creative, we are truly expanding ourselves and the whole world. We make something from nothing. Our creation, whether it be a painting, a book, a sculpture, a sand castle, a song, an origami unicycle, or anything in between, offers the Universe another spark of who we are.  My creations this year will include several projects. A scarf that looks like a fox. One book finished and another started. A coloring book filled with magical mandalas. Discovered vegetarian cuisine created in my kitchen. A backyard turned into an urban farm. And so much more! As I create, it seems doors open and inspiration walks in, bringing more and more exciting ideas.

2. Cultivate Joy. I have come to understand in this spiritual quest of mine, that our one true purpose in this life is to find our joy. For years I attached a lot of conditions to feeling joy. I thought the accumulation of things (houses, cars, clothes, shoes, BOOKS) would bring joy along with them. And when I realized that wasn’t true, I thought that I could just destroy my pesky little ego and once that was done I would be living in supreme, unending joy.But here’s the thing. We are spiritual beings having a human experience, yes. But when we try to only live in that spiritual realm, we really miss out on the human stuff, which is what we are meant to experience. The duality of the human experience is that there are two sides to everything. Where there is shadow, there must be light. Where there is up there must be down. Where there is happy, there must be sad. And where there is good there has to be bad.

We attach judgment to our each experience. We feel so happy when the good stuff happens, and then so sad when the bad stuff happens. But it is in our perceiving and judgment that the “happy” and “sad” are created. What if we just allow each human experience to flow without attaching so much meaning to it?

Being thankful for the lessons, good, bad and ugly, can be challenging. But once we get the hang of it, the whole world begins to change. Our gratitude is the biggest and most important step in cultivating joy. We begin to understand that external circumstances no longer have the power to control us, and we are able to step off the rollercoaster ride of ups and downs and just bask in the perfection of the present moment.My first step in cultivating joy? Gratitude. I will endeavor to find reasons to be thankful for every moment of this life.

3.  Cut the Crap. Some days I seem to hit the snooze button all day long. Yes I get up and get moving, but really I am still half asleep. I stare at my computer for a few hours, mindlessly scrolling through posts and pictures and stories. I eat. I turn on Netflix. I drool. And then I go back to bed, having never fully awakened.Days, weeks and even months have passed with me barely being aware. Oh sure I have my moments of awareness, but lately I have been coasting along without much purpose.And so, with 365 days ahead of me in my new year, I have pledged to cut the crap and get busy living a full, awakened life. I will turn off the devices and turn on my excitement. And I will fill my moments with simple being-ness, instead of compulsively shoving mind numbing pixels into my brain cells.

Life is for living. This year I intend to step things up a notch. No more sitting on the side lines for me. I will take this ordinary life, and make it as extraordinary as I can.

Who’s with me?

The Living is Easy

Image by: My American Husband, Walt Babinski
Image by: My American Husband, Walt Babinski

As originally published in e-Know.

Your Halo-Scopes for July 5 to 11, 2015

For the beginning of the week, Sunday and Monday:

Queen of Ariel

Summer time, and the living is easy. During the beginning of the week we have a rare opportunity to dwell in the present moment and really just chillax. All of our “shoulds” are set aside for a few days as we spend some time doing whatever we truly want to do. We are encouraged to enjoy the company of friends and family and are given the opportunity now to do that very thing. Throw some food in the picnic basket and head out to someplace beautiful. Bask in the glory that IS summer in British Columbia.

For the middle of the week, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday:

Peace

This is a time of great transformation on earth and for each of us personally. During mid week we begin to really move forward on our new, exciting adventure. It is a time of personal evolution. We are coming into our own and our soul purpose is becoming more and more clear. To facilitate the fastest and easiest transformation, allow yourself to let go of the outcome and trust that everything is happening as it should. It is easier than we may think, to transform from a caterpillar into a butterfly. Peace, babies.

For the weekend, Friday and Saturday:

Ten of Michael

Free at last! Freedom is ours at last! By the weekend we clearly see our new opportunities and are ready to put the past behind us. New avenues for happiness begin to present themselves and we are ready to take this thing to the next level. Moving on can sometimes bring a melancholy or sadness. Honor those feelings, but try not to dwell. Bigger, better, brighter times are ahead for us. Prepare to be amazed.

This week’s Halo-Scopes were inspired by the Archangel Power Tarot Deck by Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine.

Want to try a personal, one on one Angel Reading?  Now is the perfect time!  Take advantage of the Super Exciting Summer Special by Clicking HERE NOW.

 

Hello, Again

phone

I was driving home from work one day, stop and go, hurry up and wait and I had found that blissful space between leaving the mad, fast pace of work and before landing in the mad, fast pace of home.  I was just floating along, enjoying some CBC 2 and letting the thoughts and worries of the day evaporate.  I don’t admit this to many people, but I really enjoy a good traffic jam.  Being locked in place makes it impossible to do anything but relax and get into that in-between space of meditation, visualization, daydreaming.

I like travel days for the very same reason.

 And doing dishes.

And folding laundry.    Just me?  Really?

So anyways,  I was sitting there, happily zoning when someone whispered in my ear.  Tingles shot up my spine and all along my scalp.  My breath caught and I half laughed, half gasped.  “Wha..!?”

Again the whisper, words as clear as if spoken aloud:  “I sent you a present.  You will receive it tonight.”  I recognized the voice, a voice I hadn’t heard for several years.  A voice I missed terribly.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am fairly used to hearing from my dead friends and relatives.  Quite often they send me things like feathers, and song lyrics.  Sometimes they make the street lights go on right when I am looking at them.  Sometimes they make hummingbirds fly right up to me and look me in the eye.  I’ve even had them whisper messages to me, but never before had it been so loud and clear.

“Hey there, friend.  I’ve missed you”  I whispered back, then got that weird smiling through tears thing.   For the rest of the crawl home, I wondered what this present might be.

I didn’t have to wait long.  I stopped to pick up the mail and there was indeed a big, exciting package in there, addressed to me.  What could it be?  I didn’t recognize the return address and had not ordered anything.  I got home quickly, dumped my stuff on the floor and grabbed some scissors to open the package.

I slipped my hand inside.  It was a book!  I pulled it out, froze for just a moment, then started laughing nearly hysterically.

It was The First Phone Call From Heaven by Mitch Albom.

WTF?!  The book wasn’t even released yet.  I knew that because I had been eagerly anticipating the publishing date.  And yet here I was holding a copy in my hot little hand.  The jacket was not complete, and had things like “insert Author bio here” and stuff like that, but the pages were full and I could hardly wait to start reading it.

How the heck did my beautiful, deceased friend pull this off?  This was a mind boggling mystery.  A real life, honest to goodness, knock your socks off miracle!   And to this day I have no idea why this book was sent to me, or what forces came together to bring me that precious gift.

What it did was solidify my belief that our deceased friends and loved ones are always with us.  The more we trust their signs and gifts, the more they will work to bring us their messages.  Trusting what we see and hear is the first step to opening those lines of communication.  Once we remove the voice of doubt that tells us this is just coincidence or that our imagination is getting carried away, once we open to the possibilities that this is really something, then we will begin to truly open to the communications.  Our loved ones have been knocking on the door, trying to get our attention.  If we start to pay attention we will be amazed at what we notice.

So when you smell your Grandma’s lavender hand cream, or see that the photograph on the mantel of your deceased relative has moved, or find feathers in the strangest places, or dimes and pennies keep showing up, or even when you get a book about Heaven randomly sent to you for no reason,  smile and say hello.  They are.

That’s What Friends Are For

friends

Weekly Halo-Scopes for May 10 – 16, 2015 as originally published by e-Know

Heart of the Reading:

Ace of Earth

What excites you? Have you been mulling over a new business idea? Or perhaps you have come up with a great new invention that’s the next best thing to buttered toast. Whatever has been tickling your fancy, exciting your imagination and keeping you awake with possibilities, is the answer you have been looking for.   The Ace of Earth says this is it! You will be aptly and generously supported in this undertaking, whatever it may be.

Our Challenge this week:

Four of Air

So you are excited? That’s great. But the challenge we are facing it so slow down and consider the possibilities before jumping into anything. Rest, relax… take a staycation or even, I don’t know… MEDITATE. Then see what answers come to you. You have the right idea. Now you need to figure out which way takes you from here to there. Your inner wisdom will not steer you wrong and the way to access that wisdom is to get quiet. (perhaps try MEDITATION)

Our Helper is:

Unity

We are all in this thing called life, together. Unity reminds us that we don’t have to do everything by ourselves. There are friends, coworkers, associates and family members who would love to lend us a hand. This week is a good time to ask for help. And if you feel like you might be too independent, that you hate to bother, or you don’t need help? Ask anyways. We all love to be helpful, so why not give someone the unique gift of lending you a hand?

This Weekly Halo-Scope was inspired by The Angel Tarot Cards by Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine

Want a personal reading?  Email me at pastlifetourist@gmail.com and we will plan our Angel party, either in person or via Skype.

 

Enjoying the Contrast?

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Your Halo-Scopes for the Week of May 3 – 9, 2015 as originally posted on e-Know

At the Heart of this week’s reading:

3 of Michael

There is a saying that time wounds all heals… er… I mean time heals all wounds. This week we are guided to release judgment about the past and let go of any resentments or bitterness we may be holding onto. Remember that we are all human and we all make mistakes. What’s done is done and it is time to stop berating people (ourselves included) for events gone by. Let bygones be bygone. We are learning life’s important lessons and when we know better we do better.

Helping us is:

4 of Michael

Forgive me for what I said when I was hungry and tired. When life is busy and small stresses show up it is so much easier to handle them when we have had enough to eat and are rested. Taking care of ourselves is going to be essential during this emotional week. Old hurts show up to taunt us and we need to fortify ourselves so that our buttons can’t be pushed. It is so much easier not to sweat the small stuff when we’ve had a good night’s sleep and a healthy breakfast. Bonus points for taking the time to meditate. (And keep in mind: it’s all small stuff).

And our Challenger comes to us as:

6 of Gabriel:

We are doing the best that we can. During challenging times we can tend to beat ourselves up. Take a moment to remember that we are really 50 shades of awesome and that a few little hiccups should have no power over us. We must be kind and gentle with ourselves and with others, celebrate all of the steps we’ve taken and lessons we’ve learned, and be happy for all of the crazy ups and downs in life. Contrast is part of this earth school and learning to enjoy the contrast is just another lesson we are here to learn.

This week’s Halo-Scopes were inspired by the Archangel Power Tarot Deck by Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine.

PLEASE come on over to my Facebook Page and give me a Like… I’d LOVE to have you join me.

Past Life Tour Guide

cropped-flight.jpg

In the fall of 2011 I spent an amazing, life altering week at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York at the Past Life Regression Training Seminar.   The workshop, led by best selling author and ground breaking psychiatrist Dr. Brian Weiss, was the beginning of a fantastic journey for me.  Now I am honored to help facilitate that journey for many others.

A client of mine, Diane, has written about her regression experience with me  and has graciously allowed me to share it here.  This was done over Skype and was a profound and wonderful session.  Please, enjoy:

After visiting my beautiful garden full of lush flowers I walk across a bridge in the fog-

So begins my past life regression led by Brenda, via Skype. I am in Portland Oregon, USA and she is in Cranbrook Canada.

I see my feet in sandals, on a floor of big stones. I am an adult male wearing some kind of robe garment, my fingers are short and strong. I wear some gold jewelry and I know I am a leader. My life is abundant with two wives, and many children. I am in my home which is higher than others and later I realize it is in Mexico- perhaps Mayan. 

Brenda asks to see what message this past life has for me: I see myself standing above a crowd of hundreds of people. I am holding a scepter, I have authority and power, I am satisfied and content. I tell Brenda that I am feeling fear and don’t want to remember other things, she reassures me. I know that my decisions or actions lead many people to die; slaves or prisoners. I am overwhelmed with sadness about this and know that I felt that some in the past life and as I do remembering.

Brenda takes me to the end of the life. I am old, surrounded by my family who loves and respects me. I have a son there who is my successor. We are very close and connected. I love him very much. I am lying in a bed and dying of old age. I am happy, complete. My life was good.

Brenda asks me to see the moment when I leave the life. I am met with a big beautiful bright light. I meet many who I killed and they are all there to tell me that it was all in right alignment. They do not hold judgment. I did not kill people out of a misuse of my power. I was courageous, knew right action and did what was in alignment with the highest and best for all. My spirit guides were incredibly proud of me and let me know that I lived my life well. I am met with joy and celebration for how I lived.

As I am telling Brenda what is happening I am crying. I did not abuse the power I was given in that life. I used my power with courage and compassion. My choices which led others to die were what had to happen. At this point I have tears coming down my cheeks.

Brenda tells me to ask my highest self what lessons I can take from remembering that lifetime. I am told to hold the memory of how courageous I was. That I made the choices I had to while in alignment with what I was called to do. I was told to remember that I have the power to say and do whatever I need to – as a leader. I am to hold the vision of myself with the scepter in my hand. I have the authority to lead and make hard decisions. She asked if there were any last messages and I was told, wisdom. I have wisdom and Brenda asked where in my body that was and I felt it in my heart. My wisdom is full of compassion and love.

Authority, Power, Ability, Wisdom, Courage

She tells me to ask what my next steps are to achieve my calling. I am told to continue what I am doing, that I am on the right track, be courageous, bold. I am given again the vision of my past life standing over hundreds of people holding that scepter; I have the authority to act when it is in alignment. I can courageously take powerful actions from wisdom and compassion.

Thank you Brenda! That was a great experience for me that I know it will support me. Diane R.

Amazing, amazing memories!  Thank you so much for sharing, Diane.  While each person’s experience of past life regression is unique, clients universally claim profound healing effects and deeper understanding to underlying issues in their present lives.  Past life regression is a life changing experience, one that I highly recommend.

Me with Dr. Brian Weiss
Me with Dr. Brian Weiss

So, if you feel like taking a trip and need a tour guide, email me at pastlifetourist@gmail.com.

I’m always happy to help.