Being the Change

Twirling and Spinning by Terry Kole, Illustrator
Twirling and Spinning by Terry Kole, Illustrator

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi

Years ago my daughter, Emily and I were travelling to visit my American Boyfriend (now known as my American Husband).  We were between trains, sitting in the Amtrak station in Chicago.  4 year old Emily was in the play area and had found two little girls her own age to play with.

The little girls played together for an hour or so and then our train was ready to board.  We gathered our gear and headed down the tracks to find our seats.   Once settled we enjoyed the scenery as we pulled out of the Chicago yard and into the city.  Emily was chatting away, telling me all about the girls she had met.  Alisha had said something funny and Candice had fallen backwards onto the ground because she laughed too hard.  That made all three of them laugh really loudly.

“Which one is Alisha?” I asked.

“She is the one with braids.  Candice had on the pink shirt.”

The little girl with the braids was of African American heritage.   4 year old Emily seemed completely oblivious to any differences in the color of her skin compared to Alisha’s so what Emily saw as the defining feature was that Alisha wore her hair in braids.   This pleased me so very much.

How perfectly beautiful are these children who come to us without any preprogramming?  The differences that society points to as being important are meaningless to these young souls who only label what they are taught to label. The tragedy is that these children are taught to lose that color blindness and are sometimes even taught to hate and judge, instead of loving unconditionally.

Our western society has come a long way since the times of segregation, race riots and open prejudice.  Yes, we are getting so much better.  Years of civil disobedience, public outcries and courageous leadership have created a society where there are rules in place to protect individuals so that they can be safe, speak their truths, find education and not be discriminated against based on their ethnicity, religion or gender.  Slowly but persistently the world is beginning to understand that there is only one race and that is the human race.  Western society is not 100% there, but we are well past that magic tipping point.  We are becoming the change we wished to see in this world.

But there is still one fight left to win, and it is an important one.

The Dalai Lama says that the world will be saved by the Western Women.  I believe this is true and as such we Western Women have a most important job.

Western Women must lead the way to universal marriage equality so that our children can live in a world where there are no more governments trying to legislate this prejudice. We must raise our children so that by the time they reach our age, nobody will ever have to hide in a closet, but will be able to casually mention whether they are LGBTQ or S as easily as they state whether they are left handed or right. Or if they don’t mention it, nobody will care because it just won’t matter.  In this new world our children will be accepted for who they are, inside and out.  If we teach our children well, the old stereotypes and prejudices will have to become obsolete.

Most importantly, if we do our job well, then our children will be able to freely and naturally express themselves in all of their relationships without fear of judgment or ridicule.  (And of course our children will never judge or ridicule others because we have taught them well).

So Western Women (and Men and anybody else who wants to be part of this solution) let us stand up and be counted.  Let our voices be heard so loudly that they will not be ignored.  Let our lights shine so brightly that every little corner of residual apathy and hatred is forever eradicated.   Let us vote, and speak up, and support one another.  Let us make sure that every single person has the same basic human rights: to live authentically, and love authentically without fear or judgment.

Like Victor Hugo said, there is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.  Unless of course, it is an idea whose time has come and is being spearheaded by a group of strong, fabulous Western Women leading the charge.  We really are saving this world, and we are doing it with style.

When it comes right down to it we all just want our children to be happy.  And if your child, or your child, or yours or yours are not happy, then I will make it my job to fix that.

Care to join me?


“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”  Frederick Douglass

13 thoughts on “Being the Change”

  1. Hello my B.C. sister. Thoroughly enjoyed reading you this post. Having just listened to an interview on Q where women game developers are receiving horrible rape and murder threats, this was a reminder – “oh yah…THIS is our job!” Every once in a while I want to slip back into defensive negativity to retaliate and, thankfully, a message like yours is put in front of my tattered (for the moment) soul. Ahhhhhh….!

  2. So beautiful Barbara….the wisdom and innocence of children and connection. We are all one and it is wonderful to see our souls reflected both in our similarities and in our differences. Our joy of exploration, curiosity and desire to join in and have fun is definitely our greatest gift, whatever our age. Wishing you a glorious day.

  3. I had the same experience with my little girl back in the 70s living in Switzerland. A black family entered our train carriage and I wondered how Fran would react, I was gratified she accepted them without a thought or comment. Wonderful! I like your idea that Western women will lead the way. It is very frustrating in Australia at present with our government taking us back to the 50s with their antiquated ideas. We must remain positive! I do love your posts, thanks Brenda Ann. 🙂 <3

    1. I am sorry to hear that the Australian government is taking steps backwards for you. Keep your eyes heading in the right direction and you will surely get there. We women are with you all the way 🙂 Thank you so much for your kind words. I am always so happy to hear from you! xo

  4. I pray every day for the society that you caught such a beautiful glimpse of that particular day, and I find great joy in every brief encounter with that society that I have in my day-to-day existence. I truly believe if we as individuals never tire of trying, and believing that it is not only possible, but inevitable, then someday soon, that society will truly be made manifest. In answer to your question, Yes, I would love to join you.

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