A Feather on the Breath of God

“There is the Music of Heaven in all things and we have forgotten how to hear it until we sing.”  Hildegard of Bingen

I’ve got a secret. 

I have been coming out of the spiritual closet incrementally for a few years now.  Sure, it all began with a pretty big splash.  Dr. Wayne Dyer received my letter and was moved by it enough that he asked to publish it in his book Wishes Fulfilled.  Millions of people have now read about my experience, and happily most of those people are strangers.  Because of this letter I had to show my immediate family just how high my freak flag can fly.   Luckily, it turns out that most of my relatives have had similar experiences and once I opened the dialogue to the weird and wonderful, their stories have come out as well.  I can’t begin to tell you how happy that has made me.

But since that big splash it has been baby steps, just showing a little bit of my crazy at a time.  It is a bit like walking into a cold lake, slowly easing into the depths so that I can get used to the temperature a little bit at a time.  Ankle deep, feet didn’t freeze off?  Excellent, now let’s see about these knees.  Lately I’ve been thinking, why not go all in?  What have I got to lose, really?  So….

<takes a deep breath and……………. *SPLASH*>

Secret #1:

I see dead people.

Okay I don’t typically see them, though that has happened on a few memorable occasions (for instance once I was at a friend’s house enjoying some live entertainment by a bunch of theatre alumni.  I looked up and saw her deceased husband watching the kids singing.  He had such a huge smile on his face!  Amazing.) 

But mostly I just hear them, only not with my ears, if you get what I’m saying.  I hear them in my mind, their voices very distinctly their own.  Usually they are there to say “hey, things are great here, don’t worry about me” and sometimes they bring very specific messages.  I have sometimes shared the message with the person it is meant for, but a lot of times I haven’t.  I regret that.  I regret that I let my own fears of being judged stop me from relaying messages that might have brought some comfort to the recipient. 

So from this moment forward I vow to you and to myself that I will relay whatever messages come my way.  No more regrets.

Secret #2:

I see Angels.

I don’t understand why it is that this confession makes me feel the most vulnerable but this is one I’ve kept close to myself with a very few exceptions.  Perhaps it is the linear thinking cynic that still lurks in my brain.  Perhaps it is because I wasn’t raised with any sort of religious structure so to believe in such things must be ludicrous, right? 

Whatever the reason, I will share with you now that I see Angels, sometime as visual specters and sometimes I see them with my mind’s eye.  I know that Archangel Michael stands behind my daughter and has done her whole life.  I see Archangel Gabriel sitting with me when I write.  I have seen four angels surrounding a very dear friend of mine, holding her arms and legs, not so much to hold her up as to keep her from flying away.  Sometimes I sense they are near and see sparkles of different colored lights. 

A few years ago after they became quite vivid in my experience, I decided to ask for a definite, without-a-doubt sign that they were actually real and not just the workings of my over arching imagination. 

My family and I were heading to the beach that day.  I was in a playful mood and just before leaving I said out loud, “Angels, bring me a $5 bill today.  Have somebody place it in my hand before the end of the day.”  This may not seem like much of a test to some of you, but for me it was a pretty challenging task for my Angel buddies.  You see, I never carry cash and always use debit for any purchase.  For me to be handed $5 would literally have to be “pennies from Heaven”.  Plus, we were going to the beach.  What were the chances?

I truly believed they could pull this off.  I suppose that was the key.

My American Husband and I had been out for a swim and were walking back toward the shore.  I kept looking to the sky because there was this one amazing cloud that looked just like a giant Angel wing.  I was laughing to myself, thinking ‘You sneaky Angels.  Nice sign, now show me the money’.  I looked down and saw something strange in the water.  My American Husband had seen it too and reached down to grab it. 

It was a $10 bill. 

I laughed out loud and reached for it, but he pulled it out of my reach.  I explained to him that this was my $10 bill because I had asked the Angels for $5 and they were obviously being generous. 

“No this is my $10 bill.  If you wanted $10 you should have asked for $10”.

We kidded and joked for the afternoon, enjoying the sunshine.  I kept checking the sky to see if the angel cloud had blown off, but it stayed right where it was the whole time.  I could almost hear those mischievous cherubs laughing.

After a few more hours we packed up and went home.  As we were leaving I took a photograph of the cloud.  I never wanted to forget this day, or this sign.  When we got home, my American Husband came up to me as I was unpacking the cooler.  He held out his hand to me and in it was a crisp $5 bill.  Placing it in my hand, he said, “There.  The Angels said to give you half”.

Boom.  Well done, Angels! 

I still have the $5.  I never wanted to spend such an amazing, miraculous gift.

I talk to the Angels now, everyday.  I ask them for help with just about everything.  I look for and find their signs and guidance in all sorts of places.  It has changed the way I walk through life.  I never feel alone, and I know that I am always supported.  And if I listen very closely, sometimes I can hear them singing….

“Lean on me, when you’re not strong, I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on”.

Secret #3

I have had visitations from Ascended Masters.

The first time it happened I was meditating.  I was fairly new to the process and was getting quite adept at emptying out all of the noise.  On this particular night I was sitting and really digging the stillness.   Then something weird started happening.  I could “see”, floating right in front of me, a woman.  She looked like some sort of Buddhist or Hindu statue, like a goddess,  and she was just hovering there in front of me.  I tried to make her go away, following my breath and silently chanting Om Mani Padme Hum, the mantra I had read about online.  But instead of going away, she came closer, reaching out her hand and touching it to my heart. I felt instantly flooded with love, so much so that tears began to run down my face.  Alright, I decided.  Let’s just go with it.

“Who are you?” 

Immediately, loudly, this line from a song played in my brain: “Flowers in her hair. Flowers everywhere.”

Well that doesn’t help me at all.  So I turned to the greatest spiritual tool I had at that time, Google, and started searching.  I knew what she looked like and that there was something about flowers in her hair so I began by searching images.  It took me very little time to find her, God love Google.  She was Quan Yin.  I had never heard of her and figured that if she was going to show up for me in a meditation I’d better study up to see if she was bringing me some sort of message. 

Turns out she is a Bodhisattva (literally a Being of Enlightenment) who, according to legend decided to forgo the bliss of Nirvana and hang around humanity to help us fulfill our own divine plans.  She is an Ascended Master associated with the lotus flower and unbeknownst to me at the time, Om Mani Padme Hum roughly translates to “Hail the Jewel in the Lotus” and is used by devotees to call Quan Yin for assistance.

I’m not gonna lie to you.  It was a pretty awesome experience. 

She was the first Ascended Master and since then I have had a few more.  Buddha showed up once during my Reiki attunement.  And not long ago a fellow who called himself Yeshua began dropping by during my morning meditations. 

Then there is the White Dolphin.  He has come to me in lucid dreams in the past few weeks.  I am not sure who or what he is, but I know that every visit feels like a visit from heaven.  Pure, divine love. 

Maybe I am not meant to understand everything. Maybe magic and mysticism are the keys that open the door to better understanding.  All I know is that these moments have been sacred, playful, comforting and enlightening.  I’ve gone beyond disbelief and cynicism and embraced the gifts that these visions have brought to my life.  With each new experience I am broadened, deepened, filled in and awakened. 

Speaking of Ascended Masters, my friend Joan sent me a quote yesterday by St. Francis of Assisi.  “It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching”.  I hadn’t heard that one before and it resounded loudly.  I have known for some time that I needed to share everything, or at least to stop hiding it.  I don’t expect to change anyone’s belief system or to convert anyone to mine.  I only want to speak my truth and walk my path fearlessly. 

One last Secret:

I have complete faith that this information will be found and embraced by the people who are open to receive it.  That is the greatest part of “letting go and letting God”.  Simply trusting. 

20 thoughts on “A Feather on the Breath of God”

  1. Wow! I’m so proud of you and for you that you are opening up and sharing your truth. There will always be those nasty negative nellies who are rude, hurtful and honestly clueless because they are closed and bitter. There will also always be those that celebrate you for your truth, because it shows all of us that we are not alone in our “weirdness,” and I say that with a smile, as weirdness is just not the every day sort of normal. Who wants normal anyway, right? I know I don’t. BORING! I also wanted to say thank you for sharing. I too have experienced ghosts, angels, God and Jesus. I’ve seen and heard the ghosts, as well as seen things they’ve done. I’ve not seen angels or God or Jesus but I’ve received immediate healing from them when I asked and I fill God’s presence the strongest when rain is coming or it is raining, as if I’m reminded He smells like rain, if that makes any sense. I’ve experienced what I believe to be Jesus. I was going through a most difficult time and prayed for death when He sat down on my bed. I was petrified and couldn’t breath. All I could do was look at that spot on the bed that was sunken in from the weight of the presence. Talk about scared to death! Then a rush of love washed over me and through me and I fell asleep. I woke to feel renewed, no longer wanting to die. I wasn’t completely over my sadness, of course, but somehow I knew that everything was going to be okay. Thank you so much for your voice. 😉 *hugs*

  2. Brenda, you are so blessed! I think that is amazing that you have such a strong connection to angels and in your meditation. Even your photo is incredible. Thank you for reading my blog and the gift to hear about your experiences.

  3. What a delightful read!
    It is real hard to share our spiritual walk with the world. SO many vast experiences and gifts we are all given..yet the world would have us box it and label it to meet certain standards of expectation.
    It is scary as hell itself when we are finding these things out about ourselves and even others – oh really – particularly when the things we experience are different to ‘the norm’ – or others.
    Thanks for sharing your story…it brings courage to exclaim:
    For me the hardest part is learning and knowing HOW to use what we are given. I guess it is a life long journey perhaps.
    (thanks for the follow! Bit quiet in idiot land right now – refocusing – replenishing – reforming – reigniting – redirecting – so to begin a refreshed at revealing 😉 )
    Take care

  4. OMG! thank you for this!!! I have all experiences except for number 1!!! This whole time I was thinking I was CRAZY!!! and it has been lonely and a little terrifying all at the same time…anyway. Thank you for this. It is a wonderful affirmation.

  5. Thank you, sweet girl, for sharing your faith and your gifts with the world. And you are right…those who are ready to accept your truths will, and others will not. Thank you for following me at PhotofunwithFawn, my craft blog; you might enjoy seeing the other half of my stories at Triggershorse.wordpress.com, too. – Fawn

  6. I think that you are incrediably brave to tell your secrets.It is obvious that putting yourself out there is a huge leap of faith for you and that you feel lead to do this. I am still trying to assimilate what you have revealed. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

      1. I understand that everyone want aproval of others. There have been so many TV shows like Medium, Ghost Whisper and even reality shows showing psychic working with law enforcement and the even psychics working with children to teach them how to use their gifts and to not be afraid. They talk of auroras, angels, ghost and demons. I think you will be surprised that there alot of people who believe in psychic abilities. If not anything else curious, and of course there are always haters. You have no reason to prove anything to others.

  7. This was such an enlightening post. Thank you for sharing your amazing experiences, if people ever doubt themselves when things like this happen to them, it’s blogs like this that make others feel secure and at ease with their gifts. .

I'd love to hear your thoughts...